This must be what prison is like, every day I am stuck on campus. My campus is all guys, I am always working to get ahead. I am determined to finish what is most important time.

The only time I waste is reading, I read alot on the internet, but I graduate in 5 weeks and I am free. I have a huge test I got to go study for but this school is an all guy school.

I use to care, but now I have accepted the fact there is no girls hear so just forget about it. It does not hurt me anymore, I can live with this, I have not done anything sexual and me and my friends made a bet. If I masturbate in the next 100 days, I got to cut all my hair and let my friends destroy my hair.

I enjoy this school for some reason. I dont know why.

 

I was a jackass, I know better but yet I fell to sexual sin again, what am I going to do about this.

I live in a house with two internets without filters on them I cannot put a filter on them because they are not mine and I dont live there in the school time. I went as far as 100 days without falling to sexual sin but now I fell twice in 2 days.

Im pissed, so what am I doing everymorning when I wake up I will read the bible and pray, then go through out the day, If I cant search sexy girls ever again, If I do I will give away a 3 dollar dontation, I cant touch myself no masturbating no stroking, no touching nothing not now, not ever. If I do 5 dollar donation, If I ejaculate ten dollar donation, If I look at porn Im giving away 20,

So no more bullshit on my part becuase I know too much to be doing this. I must pray every day, I will never be confident again in my walk in getting away from sexual sin, becuase I know I can fall at any time.

Im not screwing up again not now ever, this is my focus from hear on out, im not gonna get sloppy with it, I need to stay consistent with god, Or else im gonna kick my own ass.

The donations will go to anyplace you guys ask as long as its a good cause. So lets let it begin.

Note to self WAKE THE HELL UP!!! YOU KNOW TOO MUCH TO DO THIS YOU DUMBASS

Why would I ever let the devil win the fight?

I fell to sexual sin last night, I will recover now, I fasting for hours and it feels great, I havent ate in 17 hours and I am happy.

I have started spring break I am going to be working alot, which isnt what I love but It is something I do. I have 3 essays and two assignments, this is going to take a really long time.

I am watching an extremly motivating speech and working out, the best thing is I got my legs back now I can run again. The speech is called Randy Pausch Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.

Ok when I get all my business done than its time to celebrate, that can take a while.

I dont know how long I want to fast for yet 35 maybe 48 maybe 60 hours.

This week in school is crunch time filled with tests and every free second I have I am working or working out at least until the weekend.

I am working hard and I have work the second I get out of class. Its not cool, but whatever.

Right now Im icing my calf becuse I strained it, I cant run anymore I limp everywhere I go. I got what I love the most taken away from me. I cant run for this whole week, i wont be healed until 3 to 8 weeks.

I cant wait for spring break im going to live it up.

Everywhere I go laughs follow me. I am a weirdo and everyone knows it and tells me.

I am usually weird as often as possible the only times I am not weird when I am putting someone elses reputation on the line. My mom hates when I am weird around her friends.

Every place I go people talk about my weirdness, mostly everyone like my weirdness because everyone tells me I am hilarious.

My weirdness usually makes me center of attention which I never really liked. Which sometimes leaves me being queit because sometimes I dont want the attention.

I sometimes hold my personality back for the fear of becoming to famous in groups. I must be the weirdest person around, because whenever I express myself I get everyones attention.

I like it in someways, but sometimes I just want to be like everyone else.

I think my weirdness is gift because I never seen anyone come close to get the same attention I can get.

If I get everyone to loosen up and laugh then I guess im doing everything right.